I want to live like there’s a gun held to my head. That doesn’t mean I want to live in constant fear; I mean I want to be doing good as if my life depended on it. I want to be seeking to please people, to help them, to be an aid to them in any way I can.

In Flannery O’Connor’s story “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” a murderer says that one of his victims would have been a good woman if someone had held a gun to her head every moment of her life.

I want to be that kind of good – I want to be someone who can’t rest until they help someone, who isn’t satisfied until they bless someone else.

These were my initial thoughts after reading O’Connor’s wonderful story. Then I thought again.

I don’t want to be someone who gets their sense of worth from doing good deeds; do the deeds even “count” if you do them out of a sense of obligation? Never do I wish to be someone who frets if they can’t help someone; I don’t want to be afraid of failure, not even the failure to constantly be doing good.

My worth as a person comes from my inherent humanity: I am worth just as much as Ted Bundy, because we’re both a person. I just have stronger Biblical morals.

I am not better than someone just because I have more convictions, and I would never want to stake all my happiness and peace of mind on being a good person. That would burn me out very quickly.

Those were my next thoughts. Then I thought yet again.

I don’t want to do good because I feel like I will be punished if I don’t. I guess I don’t really want the gun to my head – I’d only be doing good out of selfishness, and self-preservation. That’s not being a good person, that’s doing good things. We can do the right things for the wrong person; I don’t want to. I want to do the right things for the right reasons.

In conclusion,  I want to be doing good as constantly as someone whose life depended on it. But I won’t be afraid of punishment; I won’t be afraid of failure. I will live my life individually from others, not dependent on their condemnation or approval. I want to do good just because it’s good. Simply, I want to be an altruist.

good man.jpg

[I believe this picture was created by Daniel Goggans?? Found it on Google Images. It’s from the O’Connor story]

So, that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. 😊 What about everyone else? Share your opinions/thoughts in the comments! If you liked this post, then let me know. If you want to read more of my writing, check out other posts and subscribe via email. Have a wonderful day.

-KiWi

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