I think we often judge people based on their appearance, whether we really choose to or not. Sure, we determine our friends by their personalities, senses of humour, or compatibility with our own life mission; yet those we see more often (and who are more pleasant to look at), we tend to care about more*. (Thus, by “appearance” I mean handsomeness, and also how often they actually appear)
1 John 4:20 says, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?”
I was thinking recently about loving someone we literally, physically, cannot see. It’s hard when someone we’re supposed to love is not there, reminding us of their existence and worthiness of love, or doing nice things for us that make us want to reciprocate.We have to be way more proactive and intentional in our love, and even if we’re willing, this is hard.
That said, there are many people we love that we don’t have physical experience with. For example, when my friend was pregnant, we all fell in love with her baby; we didn’t know a thing about the child except that it was a baby that we would meet one day, and I can testify that we sang to that child, talked about it, dreamed names for it, imagined what it would look like, and loved the baby before we met it.
And of course, we are not alone in this experience. Pregnant women know just how real their babies are; and the future moms also no doubt can tell you how many other people were involved in loving that child. Then, when birth finally occurs, all the invested love is nestled in that child, and not an ounce is wasted or missed.
Another example is one’s unknown future spouse. There are ways to love them before one ever meets them, such as remaining faithful to them even when young, or preparing oneself to be a good husband/father or wife/mother, as the case may be. Making sure one is financially stable, emotionally mature, physically capable, and spiritually strong are all great methods to show love to one’s spouse in advance. Then, naturally, when “the twain shall meet,” again not one ounce of love, affection, or happiness is lost or wasted.
(I especially like this last example, since it’s kind of like a secret admirer in reverse: You are the one loving the unknown person, instead of having some random creeper leaving love-notes in weird places)
Finally, once again, there’s the example of God, our heavenly Father. The epitome of loving the One you cannot see, loving God purely and fully is the culmination of romance. And it’s worth repeating; when you finally meet God face-to-face, not a single ounce of your love will be wasted or missed.
So, maybe love can be blind, after all?
*Personally, I do not really think that absence always makes the heart grow fonder
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