The Ballad of the Pancakes of Cecil Callawallafer

Cecil Callawallafer made pancakes every day.
He had a secret recipe he’d carefully obey.
His recipe was in a song, since he simply couldn’t say,
So he mixed up Cecil-pancakes and be singing all the way.

“A pinch of purple powdered dust,
A cup of burnied brine,
Salt heavily with sugar rust,
And bagelnuts chopped fine.
Beat rumbles’ eggs and fishes’ legs
Then mix it for an hour,
Add lilac-spotted pickle pegs,
A pound of meadow flour.
It should be smooth enough to drink,
Then pour it in the pan.
When done, it turns a tired pink
And burns up both your hands.”

And so with flaming fingers, his breakfast he would eat.
He’d top his fizzy pancakes with oatmeal syrup sweet.
Then he’d break his dirty dishes (no washing to complete),
And spend his day a-combing hay, and sucking on his feet.

One day Cecil and his Pancakes went outside for some air,
Then Cecil and his Pancakes quite simply were not there.
A host of slimy rabbits had pulled him to their lair,
And all that you could see of him above ground was his hair.

Poor Cecil, can you hearie me?
Are you even still alive?
Oh, goodness gracious, dearie me,
I think you took a dive!
What strange plants does he grow here,
It seems Cecil doesn’t care
Whether or not he should mow here;
This grass looks just like hair!

The rabbits they demanded Cecil make them all some cakes.
They’d smelled the small aroma and recalled they couldn’t bake.
“Cecil, make us pancakes!” Cecil cried, “For goodness sake!
I woulda come if you had asked, you didn’t hafta take!”

So he asked them for a great big bowl, they said that they had none.
He dug a hole into the ground, they cried, “Oh ain’t this fun?”
And maybe some dirt got in the mix and made the batter run,
But eventually the food got baked and the cakies were all done.

And then the rabbits all went nuts,
And gobbled pancakes down.
But bunnies can’t have bagelnuts;
It makes their kidneys drown.
“O thank you, sir, they’re tasty!”
All the stupid rabbits cried.
Some ate them in a hasty,
But all the rabbits died.

One of my best poems! Hope you loved it like I do.

Original poem by KiWi

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